WRITER, PRODUCER, DIRECTOR ETC.

Macho Cooking with The Great English Adventurer

Part cookbook, part travelogue, Macho Cooking with The Great English Adventurer is a non-fiction book by Will Haynes, combining two of his favourite pastimes: Food and Travel.

EXTRACT:

The rules of Macho Cooking:

1. The best meat possible must be sourced.
2. THE BEST MEAT POSSIBLE MUST BE SOURCED.
3. Peeling and washing of vegetables should be outsourced to somebody else whenever possible.
4. It is acceptable to start consumption of alcohol the moment that the first onion has been chopped, disregarding time of day.
5. An equal ratio of wine should go into the gravy AND the cook.
6. Bisto is NEVER acceptable under any circumstances.
7. If either gravy or roast potatoes are cooked incorrectly the entire meal must be abandoned.
8. The first 15 minutes of all table talk must be spent enthusiastically complimenting the cook on the roast potatoes and the gravy before actual conversation may commence.
9. It is acceptable for desserts to be purchased (or made by your mother) but cheese must be served with port. Irish coffee can count as a dessert too.
10. Washing up must be done by those who have not done the cooking.